As I reflect on my life, direction
and relationships I cannot help but think of the people and places that mark
time for me. As my journey continues, I cherish family members more than ever. I
count myself remarkably fortunate to have them in my life. Family has a way of
keeping you on track and positive about the here and now as well as the
prospects for the future. That’s certainly true for me. Especially as I feel
the very real love that is so much more than the sum of the countless parts.
Dem Kids
My wife of more than 41 years was a critical part of recognizing the amazing achievements of our kids. We shared so many happy moments as we saw them grow and prosper. Two kids, “a complete set” were Lindsey and Ben. They both found paths in the world that magnified the thousands of little victories of growing up in our movable feast of family life that resulted in moving from New Jersey to Los Angeles and back before going to North Carolina, Florida and Missouri. I know those moves caused stress but I hope they also contributed to the strength and adaptability that is so apparent in them today.
The force multiplier of those two amazing kids, as they became adults, is the truly wonderful lives they live that starts with the partners they have chosen and the bonus grandchildren that have resulted. It brings me joy to see them proper and demonstrate astounding parenting skills with loving care and kindness. (In spite of my keen awareness of my own flawed abilities.)
The Matriach
My 90+ year young mother-in-law has become, for me, a great source of support and inspiration. She lost her husband three decades ago (1993) and has proven time and again that we have the very real leadership and guidance of the matriarchy. I started calling her on Mondays after my wife (her daughter) passed away more than a year ago. I might have thought I was consoling her in the beginning but now I can see the value of her wisdom and power that so often appears as a quiet stoicism. To be sure, I cannot thank her enough for demonstrating what it means to be a pillar of strength and courage.
Sister in Law #1 - Randazzle
My wife loved her older sister Randy. They say you cannot be too rich or too thin, (She’s both.) Nevertheless, she has been a source of strength as she challenges me to “live your best life”. She lost her husband a few years ago. Her daughter will be married in the coming year.
Sister in Law #2 – Digger
Lynn was clearly a middle-child. My wife loved her younger sister, Deborah. Digger struggles with a case of chronic hypochondriasis (my joke). She is mom to two boys, each with thriving families of their own.
My Siblings
Since the passing of our parents in 2011 and 2013 we became six adult orphans. We all look back on our respective childhoods (beginning with our birthdays scattered throughout the years of 1944-1958) with a fondness that belies our childish grievances. Through masterful parenting, I was denied “middle child syndrome” in spite of being third in the birth order. Our only sister (second in birth order) navigated brilliantly as she confronted being a grown-up beginning with a teen pregnancy. The oldest managed to find peace, on his own terms, without trying to live up to an arbitrary perception of potential. My brother and I (3rd and 4th in the birth order) survived a lifetime of comparisons that began as I was “held back” in first grade. We shared so many rights of passage. Dad dubbed us the “twin headaches” as we pursued our individual academic lives as undergraduates at the University of Miami. Mom and Dad, by all accounts, mellowed a bit for siblings #5 and #6 but they each experienced unique and wonderful careers as photographer and business leader/entrepreneur respectively.
Through this diverse set of reference points I cannot say enough about the joy I get in seeing those amazing lifetimes unfold. Morgans: 11 weddings, 9 college degrees, 9+ kids, 5 states (current) and so on. We're watching you and yours family tree: JV (Lane and Colleen), Philip, Lindsey/Chris (Lawton), Ben/Allison (James), Wes, Matt/Bianca, Lauren, Michael, Megan/Parker, Tara/Adam (Camille, Thomas), Kevin/Madelyn... And Sam and Toby Stevens' girls - Deborah: Perry/Autumn (Samson, Marlowe), Max/Mary (Lilly, Daniel), and Randy: Erica/Bug. It goes on.
