Even when it brings tears to my eyes,
memory of you is a blessing, Bing.
You left us three years ago (February 3, 2022). It was cold outside and schools were closed mostly. You heard from your employers at the Garbanzo Mediterranean Restaurant and the Colleen's Cookies that they would be closed. I was up early and fumbling with the challenges of trying to teach remotely. I was not surprised that you did not get up early too as I knew you could use the rest. I checked on you a couple of times, glancing into our bedroom.
Finally, upon closer inspection I found you were ice cold and not breathing. I called 911 and the operator tried to coach me into doing CPR. I found myself quickly racing through the stages of grief. Anger (Come on Lynn!); Denial (This cannot be happening!); Bargaining (Dear God please...). They told me what I already knew "She's gone." Depression (I miss you and what was.) The EMT and the Cantor from Shaare Emeth did what they do in a professional and efficient way. I was able to turn off the stove in time as the water boiling on the stove awaited pasta. The Cantor Seth Warner (Shaare Emeth) was comforting and stated matter of factly, "I'm here and I'm not leaving until you sit down." That final stage of Acceptance was surreal.
The first call I made was to the Matriarch. Toby Stevens was about to receive Mandel bread, also known as mandelbrot via UPS. Lynn asked me to ship the baked goods via the UPS store in Creve Coeur (and reminding me to stamp the frequency reward card) just a day or so ago so they would arrive in time for Toby's 91st birthday on Valentine's Day. (Last year she baked 90 heart-shaped cookies).
Toby lost her husband Dr. Samuel Stevens in 1993 (He was just 69). Sam and Toby were married in 1952. I felt compelled to mention that 1952 was the same year in which the British Queen Elizabeth became the Matriarch in the U.K. Years ago, She and Sam got a burial plot reserved in Neptune, NJ. Lynn would be buried next to her dad. (Poetic since I remember her Dad's funeral and the emotion she showed even years later visiting that cite.)
My brother Dan and his wife Netti drove from Cleveland to St. Louis (650 miles) in an amazing show of support. We were able to linger at the Cheshire Inn next to the fireplace. On the wall, adjacent to the elevator in the Cheshire Inn there were two Andy Warhol screen prints of Queen Elizabeth. The setting was reminiscent of Christmas on Edgewater Drive (where we grew up).
The funeral services were extraordinary as The Matriarch handled all of the details. Ben and Allison were most gracious in opening their home. Ben had a touching moment with his boy James, who at age six was trying to process the loss of his grandmother. Lawton, just six months older than his cousin, was enjoying his grandmother's mandlebrot as was the Rabbi prior to the service. Lindsey and Chris were graveside and Chris's father Rob (Robo) was able to make a much appreciated appearance.
Toby was stoic and businesslike. Lindsey was amazing in a eulogy that articulated the essence of who Lynn was in life. Fortified by Morgans in the first two rows at the synagogue Greg and his two boys Wes and Matt in from Tampa and Rob in from Northern California, I was able to say a few words. Catching David Drimer in the in audience at a glance I shared what he used to say about Lynn. He lived one Summer, while at the University of Miami, in a rented house in South Miami with Lynn and Ricky Rose from the Jersey Shore. Dave would say about the girl that would become my wife. "When Lynnie's happy, I'm happy. When Lynnie's mad...I'm scared!" That brought a few smiles of recognition as part of my brief remarks.
So it goes. Miss you Bing. But the memory of you is indeed a blessing.
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